I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
