Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Found the puke drawer
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
