Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My liver just had a heart attack.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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