maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize