So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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