I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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