We're facebook friends in real life
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
