she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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