so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
