I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
