people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
