I wanna passion pit in your ass
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
