Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
