she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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