your parents love me but you hate me
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
