I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i barfeds in our rink
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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