I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
