Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
