Where is the hickey?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
