We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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