i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
