She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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