I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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