I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
