Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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