i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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