mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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