You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
