ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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