Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Shame is for Republicans.
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