why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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