Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
