I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the high leading the old right now
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Randomize