yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
