Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
