New game: find the sober person in Tbell
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
