The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
