If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
