well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
