Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
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Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
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We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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