TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
