SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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