Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you mean i was at the winter classic?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
