He told me they were just razor bumps!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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