Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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