That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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