If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
