I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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