on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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