Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
