Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
