nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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