Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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