I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
