You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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