he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
