i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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