just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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