8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
