Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize