I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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