she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
