i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
zippers are such a cool invention
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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