...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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