I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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