you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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